How were your High school crushes, and how shy were you? Well, here’s my story!

Oh my crushes oh girls I loved,

   Shy dudes this is for y’all. You see I never believed in adolescence, I always thought it was one of all other inventions or theorems that mankind made up to sustain or create a system that would profit them. They would then start producing items and all sorts of attracting things that this genre of people so called teenagers would like; and then they would make money! They would also create older attracting inventions for the older ones; makes sense? Let’s hope so. To my story being in the teenage era was sort of thrilling to see, I had problems every second of the day, if it’s not my moody side of anger, or loneliness then it would just be girls!

In start of my high school, I discovered the tutor part of every guy or girl of liking the opposite sex and because of not knowing what it was in the time, we found ourselves not stopping thinking about her, we called it love; But in fact it was just teenage crushes. I had mine in my second year, she was hot (I never really understood why I always liked the bad ones), and pretty and mostly famous! I felled for those fun type girls it seemed. She never noticed me, as I was invisible; So as shy as I was, I decided to write her a letter because I was incapable of going in person, I sent some of my friends to give it to her and in no time she replied, but not with a letter,just orally a NO. I probably missed something I told myself, which if you think it straight is the truth; I had written her a goddamn letter! Who does that these days! i guess only me.

She wasn’t my only crush after that, I had all these feelings that were so stupid for a bunch of beautiful girls at school but I never made any step further after that supposedly heart-break.  I kept all my feelings inside and didn’t even tell it to my boys because then they would take me as a crazy dude to love a bunch of famous and amazing girls that everyone wanted, and with who I was, I didn’t stand a chance and that was the end.

So later after changing  the school for the advanced level, I had a plan of becoming the most confident and enthusiast and funny guy that school had ever seen. It was a plan indeed, though I never pursued it. With my seatmates who were also beautiful girls, I was funny and intelligent but mostly lazy to write notes. I couldn’t come as of telling my seatmate I liked her so much because it would seem insane, so I sticked to be their friends and just that.  But There was this so hot and pretty girl too that we studied together, same skin as my last crush but more intensely light, badass and always laughing that every dude wanted to get in her league. You’d find her always with the famous guys of the school, the wealthiest and the handsome ones. No chance too I had there, but I said to myself it’s been only two weeks knowing her so she probably doesn’t know how sucking I am. And yes she didn’t, I walked around to her, sat and said “Hey, I’m Patrick you are so beautiful, can we get to know each other…” She smiled and said yes, find time and we can talk, but later. It was like a thunder hitting me with so much happiness through my heart, beating so fast and hard like never before, but i still showed her i was confident.. After all that and I going back to my seat, we actually never talked that long again, in fact we didn’t talk afterwards. Such a bitch i am.

You might actually be asking yourself what the fuck! happened or just why? Well let me tell you why, I was and still am the problem. I went back to my seat feeling dreams came true and couldn’t concentrate in anything just thinking how I should plan our next meet, which by the way was just a talk not a date. But my mind was in clouds. Next thing I know I saw her with all these amazing dudes and it got me off my heaven, I couldn’t ask for advice because those were the guys she hanged with in the first place. So as always I surrendered to the fact that I wouldn’t win her heart, and saw her live her life without my crap for three straight years and  making my mind that well I will never get what I want.

This probably wasn’t for the shy, right? There is no solution or advice just a sad creepy story that no one wants to read. Well you read it, did I tell you I never believed in adolescence, yes I did, but now I think I might believe it; because if adolescence wasn’t in my mind even for a second, I could have stepped down and do what I had to do, but no I suck and that’s all you should retain. I still like her though, I believe she will never get out of me and as one musician sang “ if you don’t find love somewhere else , i will be there for you” Not that she is in love or anything,but that I’ll do everything to get her if I had the chance. I guess its one thing that is positive in all this. Teenage crushes do teach you some lessons of the future, they do mostly break you and they mostly remain somewhere in you… but still WTF was wrong with me man!!!

Oh thy girls I loved, how I regret.

Oh and if it’s not bothering do tell me your high school crushes story, i’d love to read them.

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