Bring Back Words

It’s no secret that I have been a firm rebel against the “less words, more actions” movement for many years now. We exist in a world that has prioritised action over words, and for the most part, it’s understandable. More men have been all bark, and women, on some level, have grown tired of that. These days, you have to do a little more than compliments and words of affirmation to show a proper display of affection. And that’s exactly my concern.

It's not that words aren’t also a cool beautiful way to show someone you love them, but it has increasingly become meaningless in a world where one man writes a poem, and another buys a car. Of course, the most logical choice would be to opt for the latter.

I know I lack the complacency in buying gifts and romantically subduing someone’s heart with actions, but in my defence, I prefer words. And words, believe it or not, are also actions. In the 1900s, despite all its flaws, people still managed to express themselves, pouring their hearts out through songs and poems and carefully written letters, an art form we’ve lost trying to chase away the pains of liars. This is also emphasised by the competition of conquering each other’s hearts, which has demanded that the pursuers do more than just talk.

In the battle for someone’s heart, I may surely lose. But I would be remiss if I didn’t at least try to show the world that words mean more than acts do. Because a man will send you a thousand flowers, or take you on the best dates possible, or buy you anything you desire, and when you part ways, he will replicate the same things for other girls. And you will all feel special, unique and loved. That’s just the reality of what men are capable of.

But tell a man to actually describe you, to enunciate your strengths and beauty and the reason your love warms him, and they will crumble under the pressure. Why do you think vows are scary to write? It’s no easy thing to write love, because no one understands it really. They will try to complement the physical attributes, the emotional tolls, and the rituals. But to clearly and beautifully write the little details that make you you, and that make your love special, that takes true attention and dedication.

Words, despite people thinking it’s the bare minimum of intentions, require total concentration, care, and focus on the particular subject. Because no one really can get it right, but they can get close. With words, you’re forced to read someone’s movements, mind, heart, what makes them tick. To notice, to listen, to see.

Most of you all just exist around each other, and you will care about the things spoken and the witnessed. Beyond that, the details under the eyes, on the fingertips, during a hip thrust, behind a smile, through a hug; those things will walk past you. And even though all girls, including my exes, have brought about the lack of physical proof of my love as the reason to leave me behind, I could testify to the flamboyant grins and raised eyebrows whenever I wrote anything that showed I truly saw them. In those brief moments, nothing else mattered.

Until it does. As all things are challenged by beliefs and society. And I don’t blame them for choosing the public ganders and the financial spectacles that presume safety and adoration for everyone to see. Ideally, you would want a partner who can fly you on a vacation somewhere over the Pacific whilst still showering you with little notes of love under your coat. But as far as dreams go, this perfect partner rarely exists. Unfortunately.

The actions that linger are the private details that only resonate with you. Not the chivalrous ones that will be reshared on your IG stories. Even though those are nice and prove to the world you’re not miserable. And perhaps, there’s a pleasure and pride in boasting it to everyone.

But in your seat at night, where no one sees you, I gamble a few lines of proper inclination to you will put a smile on your face. Of course, you will realise that for men to receive even one unexpected written compliment suffices to bloom our moods for days. For women, having received, perhaps, many of those from a boatful of men, proves quite tricky.

There’s also the point of people using other written poems or AI to send to their girlfriends and crushes instead of writing their own personalised expressions. Or the fact, and I believe this to be the origin of the whole problem, of men making empty promises and disappearing here and then. Yes, I’m sure the very first faints of mistrust in a man’s words started here.

And since then, truly, it’s been a terrible world. Where nothing in the process of love is really beautiful. It has become mechanical. You’re trying to do more than other men for that one girl, whilst at the same time proving to her that you’re better and should be trusted than the last 30 men who said the same thing. And in time, the women take advantage of it. They enjoy the dates, the romantic avows. Who wouldn’t?

However, I ask myself if anyone is open to the possibility of ‘forever’ while playing such games. I call them games, because after the time, money and energy put into it, often it all crumbles down.

And surely words aren’t meant to fix all the dating problems we have now. So much is to blame. But I believe the biggest issue we have is that no one is truly someone’s. You have to put a ring on the finger to affirm such a statement. And even then, it might all fall apart. It’s all gestures now, but nothing that truly pierces your heart and reaches your core. Something like that would tumble up our world like it used to back in the day.

It’s no wonder that from the 16th century to perhaps the 20th, all great romantic written works were created, and all the best and most poignant songs were sung. All a poet needed was his notebook, pen and ink, and they would show you how much you matter. Think about Emily Dickinson. I shiver thinking about her work. I wish I were her muse.

However, now, in a world where all songs from any gender serve to remind us how the artist is good with women in bed or how bubbly their bottoms are on a dance floor, saying anything meaningful will drown under the noise of attention-seeking rants and rumbles.

And we don’t, of course, have role models that show people that a carefully written message full of love can be enough. We don’t have Marvin Gaye, Nina Simone, or Frank Sinatra. We have Drake and the cunnilingus of R&B singers with discographies meant to prove they will take your girl. Because, of course, they will say a poor man has words, but they, the wealthy, have much more to offer.

The arts used to be the best way not only to speak to the world but also lay bare to a loved one. A great, however short or long, poem, letter and verbal message used to burn insecurities and stem right into the heart a loyalty and love like none other. A love that, when challenged, had brisked more words so firm that no one could cut them. In these times, however, nothing is as neat and tidy. And that’s a shame.

Because eventually you will have to say the words that matter. The “I do” or “Will you be mine” or “I love you”, and everyone in the world will have heard them before, and it won’t matter, unless you really learn to say them with your heart, and only then will they take appropriate form and language and speak to the intended person.

Although by then, someone who can send money weekly, who picks your lover up from work every day or pays for their nails will have won. Because she or he will believe that that’s the truest form of love.

But I promise those are just actions. Well-intended, perhaps, but just actions. Eventually, everyone will learn that the things unsaid hover like a fog. There’s a point where you need to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that they look beautiful, that the thing they do with their lips when they’re sad makes them cuter, and that the heart they’ve guarded for so long will be held tightly from now on without shattering. No amount of actions can prove that, even if it circles it with reassurance for so long. Often, the direct route is best.

If we do this enough, even in our world full of mistrust and fear, if we manage to keep the promises, the wonder, and the care, we will get back the light and beauty that comes with love and dating. People will be happy just knowing they are witnessed and cared for.

And no more of those acts that only leave mixed signals. Words wouldn’t do that. Only people. Please choose your blame better. And let those who still believe in their power to, in their turn, open doors. Don’t you love it when your friends tell you you look so good on a night out? Don't those words warm you?

This is my petition for such a world. An earth where I survive with all the love in my heart intact. Where I write a letter to my lover. Where, after the final punctuation, the dot that halts her smile or tears, she flips the paper to the beginning and starts reading again and again. With a rollercoaster ride at Disneyland, you will notice that going back up takes a while.

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POSTSCRIPT

WATCH: "Cross", Season 2 (2025) - "Marty Supreme" (2025) - "Blue Moon" (2025) - "Shrinking", Season 3 (2024) - "Fackham hall" (2025) - "Hijack", Season 2 (2025) - "Eleanor the Great" (2025) - "Oh. What. Fun" (2025) - "Good Fortune" (2025)

READ: "Predictions and presentiments" short story by Valeria Luiselli

LISTEN: "The Fall-Off", by J Cole (2026) - "The End" by Tom Odell - "Something Beautiful" by Robbie Williams - "You Can Close Your Eyes" by Jacob Collier - "Les Monstres" by Orelsan - "She's Always a Woman" by Billy Joel

TRY: Loving like there's no such thing as a broken heart.