Letter of Resignation (P.S: I was fired)

Dear P,

I would like to inform you of my intention to resign from my current position. To my unfortunate final settlement—well, fortunate for me—working here was no longer part of my plan. And although I've been here for three long weeks and feel like I’m part of this community for ages, I found myself reluctant to stay in this company, hence this letter.

Before all else, I would like to thank you for this amazing opportunity. I always wanted to work for a company that valued me and my skills, a CEO that wasn’t harsh, and colleagues that occasionally bought me lunch. The delicious doughnuts thrice a week were as I said, delicious. However, the black tea was really hot and I almost always dreamt of ripping off my tongue. But don’t worry, this is not the reason I’m leaving.

I’m leaving because I found myself missing on my eight hours of sleep and sometimes on the weekends, I could dream of receiving another “I hope this finds you well” email that asked my sleepy self to submit a week’s job in an hour, which as you now can see, left me always on edge.

I was stressed all the time. I couldn’t watch as many movies as I used to. I missed the premiere of “Euphoria” and of course you caught me binging it in the middle of the regular Monday morning meeting. Which, again, I’m sorry about.

I know I’ve failed you. And that’s unforgettable. You believed in me, and so were my co-workers after I returned their favours and bought them lunch. Even the cleaning lady voluntarily started preparing my cubicle every day before I got there. Which now that I think of it, was her job. Shit!

Eventually, I guess my father was right, being a dreamer will be the end of me. He’d say that life is about struggles and that I should face them while I’m still young. But I always wanted my day job to be a night job. No, wait that came out wrong. I always wanted to enjoy my day job, but as they say, a dreamer hates stress. I do hope they say that. They do right? Oh, fuck it. I invented a saying! Watch me be famous!!! probably not.

If you’re wondering what my plans are after this, Well, for starters, I’m sleeping for the first six months, and then I’ll spend the rest finding a job. I thought of starting my own business, a freelancer maybe. Waking up when I want to, having enough time to get drunk and regretting my decisions, having a girlfriend maybe, or two, or even travel the world.

However, with all these thoughts, I realized I wasn’t that badass to start a business of mine. Mostly since I’d have to ask my dad for funds which is practically impossible now that he’s mad knowing I’m quitting my first job ever after just three weeks. So finding a job it is.

There could be better relevant reasons for my resignation, like another job or opportunity, but no. Nothing. I just care a lot about my sleeping schedule. Because what else is there to care about? Money? I don’t think so. Girls? Maybe.

I simply wish to be free again. Roam the streets like a wild stallion or like the male version of Megan thee stallion, something like that. I can’t wait.

Anyways, I was wondering if I could get a recommendation letter for my next venture under the sun. or if it’s possible to come back when I’m out of options. I hope there is no bad blood between us.

Sincerely and Lovingly yours,

The Protagonist.